WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump’s promise to release a long-delayed health-care plan hit a snag when his dog ate the only existing copy of the plan, the President disclosed.
“I left the plan on my desk, and somehow the dog got up there and ate it,” he said. “It’s a bad dog, quite frankly.”
Trump’s explanation met with raised eyebrows from the White House press corps, none of whom had been previously aware that the President had a dog.
What Trump and the United States needs is a third party. Trump needs to organize a third party made up of the millions of vigilantes,
Hallelujah! The fever has broken. The patient will live. Twenty twenty-one has started off as a glorious year. Georgia has elected not one but two
Mr. President, you’re embarrassing yourself. You’re embarrassing me, the American people, and our country. Please stop it. Your entire four years have been embarrassing and
Americans are hurting. If you ask, most people will say that they “hate” 2020, many even saying that 2020 has been the worst year of their
